SERMON: LAYING OUT THE CHALLENGE (10/9)

Friends,

Below are some questions, thoughts, Scriptures, and ideas for using Sunday's message to go deeper with your Life Group.  Feel free to use this information if you find it to be a helpful tool for leading your Life Group discussions. I want to apologize because I had a few formatting issues (background color) with this week's blog that I can't seem to get corrected, but I will have them corrected for next week.

• Any challenge worth taking has both a high level of buy in and perseverance, as well as an amazing pay off for the person who completes the challenge. As we enter into week three of the NTC how are you doing with the challenge (engaging with God in the reading, processing and putting into action the things that you're learning)? 
• What are you finding difficult
• What payoff or reward are you experiencing as you remain faithful?

2 Timothy 3:16-17 – All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. – NLT 

• As you read 2 Tim. 3:16-17 what stands out to you about the role of the Bible in our lives. 
• Are there places in your life that you can already see God changing you as you read through the NTC?
•  Ron encouraged us on Sunday that if we invest 3% of our time in taking the NTC it will drastically transform our lives. This will happen as we begin to apply the things that we're learning. What you you put into practice in your life since beginning this challenge?

 

• The Bible teaches that Jesus was anointed by God the Father for two main purposes. To be our SAVIOR and our LORD. 

• SAVIOR: The New Testament clearly defines Jesus as the Savior of the world: 

Matthew 1:18-21 – This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiance, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. "Joseph, son of David," the angel said, "do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." – NLT
 
John 14:6 – I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. – NLT

• Why do you think this reality is so hard for so many people in the world to embrace? 

 

• LORD: The second title that Jesus is given is Lord which means that He is the ruler, authority, final word, and the one we should listen to and follow with our lives.
  

  Philippians 2:6-11 – Though he [Jesus] was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. – NLT

• What does it mean to you that Jesus claims to be the Lord of every person who has given their life go God? How does this play out in your life?
• The Bible clearly states that Jesus is BOTH Lord AND Savior. He cannot be one in our life unless He is both.  

 In the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5 Jesus said:

¹⁷ “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. ¹⁸ For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. ¹⁹ Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. ²⁰ For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

• On Sunday Ron asked us to make the commitment to do whatever God directs us to as we read through the New Testament.  Did you make this commitment? Why or why not?

• Have you found this commitment easy or difficult to keep? What do you think is the key to doing all of the things that God commands?

As you close your group, spend some time praying together that the Holy Spirit would give you the courage and commitment to put the things that God calls us to into practice in our lives as we read through the New Testament Challenge.

 

What Do I Do When People Don't Show Up?

I've edited a very helpful article by Allen White 
for this weeks post. (See original article here)

"Where did everyone go..."

HELP: 15 People Sign Up But Only 5 Showed Up! Maybe those aren’t the specific numbers that you experienced in your group, but the reality is that it happens to every group at some point. DON'T WORRY... We're here to help!  Here are a couple of keys to riding the attendance roller coaster.

1. It’s not about you.  In the church, community is what we want, yet it’s what we resist the most. People got excited during promo month, so they signed up for your group. Between kids beginning school,sports, and work, life just got in the way. After all, the road to you-know-where is paved with good intentions.  If someone didn't show up on week 1, don't take it personally, chances are, it's not about you.

2. Keep them on your list. Keep the communication flowing. Email them along with the rest of your group with information about this week's meeting. Give them a call. The call should go something like this: “Hi, this is_______. I wanted to give you a quick call because I missed seeing you at our Life Group last week.  Do you think you're going to be able to make it this week?” If the answer is "yes," then tell them that you're looking forward to seeing them. If the answer is either "no" encourage them to come to the following week. If the answer is "actually, this group doesn't work in schedule," Then try to connect them with a different group. You can see all of our available groups here. Don't be nervous about calling, chances are that they won’t slam down the phone after saying, “I don’t want you to care about me.” Who doesn’t want that?

3. Focus on who showed up rather than who didn’t.  My second time leading a group, the attendance regularly fluctuated from 10 people one week to 3 the next.Certain weeks there were only three of us. By the numbers, my group is a disaster. Yet, there are things you can talk about with two that you can’t discuss with eight. Maybe you do the lesson. Maybe you set the lesson aside. Before you start beating yourself or your group members up over low attendance, you need to do a quick check-in with God: “What do You intend for this group meeting? It doesn’t look like what I planned. What have You planned?” His plans are better anyway. So focus on who shows up, but make sure to contact the folks who don't.

4. Remember your Life Group and your sphere or influence are not the same. Some people may never show up for your group. Or, they’ll come once or twice, then you won’t hear from them for a while. Here’s the deal: whether they attend every week or once in a blue moon, they are in your sphere of influence simply by signing up for your group. The group members who meet three out of four times a month are essentially your Life Group. Everyone else is your sphere of influence. There is a reason that God has placed these folks in your life. Keep up with them. Help them when they need help. Pray for them. This is not some clandestine plot to convince them back to the group through your kindness, but it might work. This is your opportunity to love and serve, even if you never get anything in return

In a perfect world, everyone would honor their commitment and show up for every group gathering. But, this is not a perfect world. Here’s the deal: for that no-show on your list, you just might be their only connection to the body of Christ. Their well-being, of course, is not up to you. But, there is a reason that in all of the Life groups in our community, they signed up for yours. God will show you why.

RELAX- It's Biblical

As we wrap up another great session of Life Groups I am reminded how important it is to the health of our lives and ministry to REST & RELAX.  I've combined a blog from Rick Warren about the importance of rest and relaxation with a Sabbath "How To" which came out of a sermon that I preached a few years ago. My hope is that you are able to rest in the goodness of God as we close out the Summer and head into the Fall.

 ENJOY...

Rest and relaxation are so important that God put them in the Ten Commandments. God tells us to rest every seventh day. If you’re not taking a day off every week, you’re breaking one of the Ten Commandments – and you won’t be as effective as you could be in ministry (or anything else you do).

Jesus reminds us in Mark 2:27 that the command to take a Sabbath is for our own benefit: “Man was not given for the Sabbath but the Sabbath was given for man.” God gave us the Sabbath to help us to rest and restore. Our bodies need it.

Jesus modeled this in His own ministry, and we need to model it in our ministries.

Relaxation: We need to take time to enjoy life.

Mark 6:31-32 says, “Because so many people were coming and going that they didn’t even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to them, `Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest’” (NIV). In other words, Jesus said, “Fellows, you deserve a break today. Come to the desert and we’re going to rest.”

Jesus modeled this God-created need to rest and relax. I’m more and more convinced of the importance of balance in ministry. All areas of our lives need to be balanced. There is an ebb and flow in ministry, a time when you give out and a time when you receive, a time when you work and a time when you rest. Ecclesiastes says, “There’s a time for everything in life” – to laugh, to cry, to build up, and to tear down.

The Bible says in Matthew 11:19 that Jesus came enjoying life . You don’t hear many theologians talking about that verse. They talk about Jesus the old sourpuss. Have you noticed on TV that the media always shows Jesus with a sour, dour, very serious face? But the Bible says, Jesus came enjoying life. He survived stress by enjoying life.

God wants you to do that. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 6:17, “God richly gives us everything to enjoy” (NCV). As we use it for His glory, we also get to enjoy it at the same time.

Balance is a key to stress management. I constantly remind my staff to --

* Divert daily – Take a mini-vacation every day to recharge.

* Withdraw weekly – Take a day off every week.
* Abandon annually – Take an extended period of time off every year.
Jesus rested regularly because he knew God designed us to need rest, but also because he was being obedient to the commands of God.

One great way to "Withdraw Weekly" and rest in the presence of God is by taking a sabbath.  Here are some practical elements to add into a sabbath day that will ensure that it is more than merely a day off.  Maria and I have been taking a sabbath for the past year and it has become a wonderful part of our weekly rhythm. If you have more questions about taking a sabbath feel free to contact me and I'd be happy to talk.

SABBATH "HOW TO"

5 Distinctives To Include In Your Sabbath Experience

1) Celebrating God:

> Focus on the gifts that God has given you, not on the things that you don’t have. No focusing on the negative things in life on Sabbath.

> Spend time reading the Bible and talking with your kids about the amazing love of God.

> Get out into nature or some place where you generally connect with God (i.e. the beach).

2)   Celebrating Family:

> Sabbath is a time for blessing your family. Spend time telling each person in your family what they mean to you and how much you love them.

> If you’re married, this is a day to be intimate with your spouse as a celebration of God’s gift of marriage.

3)  Celebrating Fun:

> Do something fun with your family. Imagine having kids who can’t wait to spend time with God because it’s so much fun!

4)  Celebrating Service:

> The one group of people in the Bible who were not commanded to stop working on the Sabbath were the people who served in the church. 

> Look for ways to serve in the church & community as part of Sabbath.  We don’t take Sabbath from serving God. We take Sabbath by serving God.

5)   Celebrating Food:

> Sabbath is a time to have an amazing meal with those closest to you. 

      NOTE: If you're in need of rest, and are looking to take your relationship with God to a whole new level...Try taking a sabbath with your family (or close friends) this week. You will be amazed at how God meets and refreshes you during your sabbath.

Passing The Torch

God has called you and I to do more than lead a Life Group for this summer, he's called us to leave a legacy in our groups that lasts beyond our 12 weeks as a leader. If you're like me, then you want to see the people in your group connect with God in deep ways and take next steps in their faith as He guides them.

Strike up a conversation with someone in your Life Group!

LEADERSHIP - A GREAT NEXT STEP

Is God calling someone in your group to become a leader? When you get into group, you may notice that there is someone (or a few people) who God seems to be calling to take a step of faith and lead a group. Now (THIS WEEK) is the time to sit down with that person and encourage them to step up and lead this Fall.


Nervous to have that conversation? Here's a simple outline:

• Encourage and affirm the person for the role that they play in your group. Tell them things that you appreciate about their participation in the group (be specific: i.e. "you bring great insight into our conversations" or "you are a great encouragement to me and others in our group." 

• Let them know that you think they have great potential to lead a group of their own this Fall.

• Ask them if they are open to the idea of leading this Fall. Remind them that their curriculum and material will be provided for them, so this is a great time to take a step and become a leader for the first time.
• Note: They may be hesitant to say yes, but this is where you can step in and encourage them to take a step of faith.

• If they are excited (or even curious) about leading this Fall, email your coach ASAP with the person's name and contact information so that your coach can follow up with them and answer any questions that they have about leading.

WE NEED TO HAVE OUR FALL LIFE GROUPS SET UP BY THE MIDDLE OF THIS MONTH, SO PLEASE TALK WITH YOUR GROUP THIS WEEK, AND EMAIL YOUR COACH ASAP WITH ANYONE THAT GOD IS GUIDING TOWARD LEADERSHIP!

Living a Life Worthy of the Calling We've Received

Let's hit the mark that God designed for our lives!

In the sermon yesterday, Ron reminded us that one key part of knowing and doing the will of God is turning back to God when we sin, or miss the mark of God's design for our lives.  This is especially true for  us as we lead others in to God's presence. Satan would love nothing more than to make us ineffective in our lives and ministry calling through some secret or un-dealt with sin.  Ron laid out a fantastic plan for identifying and repenting (turning) of sin in our lives. I encourage you to take some time this week and walk through this process with the Lord.

THE PROMISE

Psalm 32:8—The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” - NLT

THE PROBLEM

Psalm 32:9—”Do NOT be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” - NLT

THE ANSWER

Acts 3:19-20—Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord.—NLT

THE PROCESS OF REPENTANCE

1. I MUST DISCERN AND ADMIT I AM OUT OF GOD’S WILL.

1 John 1:8-9—If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.—NIV

ð Discern = Look for telltale signs

a. Violation of Biblical command or principle

b. Troubled Conscience

c. Lack of fulfillment / peace

d. Judgmental spirit

ð Admit = Communicate it

a. To myself

b. To God

c. To the proper person: 

d. Find an accountability partner: This is a person that you can be honest with, who can walk with you through the process of repentance, and can help you stick to the commitments that God is calling you into.

Note: If God is leading you toward talking with someone else about any area of sin in your life, here are a few options of people who might be good to talk with: Life Group coach, close friend, pastor, or spouse.  Depending on the nature of the issue that you're working through, someone of the same sex might be the best person to talk with.

2. I MUST ACCEPT AND WALK IN FORGIVENESS.

Colossians 1:22-23—God has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it.—NLT

ð God won’t make me walk in freedom and others can’t.

ð God will forgive every sin, but He may not remove their  consequences.

ð God will redeem even the worst of consequences.

3. I MUST ASK GOD FOR REVISED DIRECTIONS.

James 1:5—If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.—NLT

ð Repentance is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.

4. I MUST ACT IMMEDIATELY ON THE DIRECTIONS GOD GIVES.

John 13:17—Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.—NLT

ð Obedience brings blessing and further revelation.

ð Delayed obedience is really disobedience.

Stretch & Release

When I was in my early 20's I had some large ear piercings (think pencil sized hole in my ear lobe), but if you looked at my ears today, you would only notice a small hole where the piercings used to be. That's because human skin has an amazing amount of elasticity (think rubber band). We can stretch it to a certain point, and generally it snaps back into place (assuming that we take the right steps).  But there is a certain point where our skin has stretched beyond it's ability to snap back into place (think about someone who has huge holes where ear lobes used to be).

The same is true with our spirituality, life, and ministry. It's why God set up the world with stress and release  times (day and night, week and weekend, etc). It's why we've structured our Life Groups in 12 week sessions(stretch) with 1 month breaks (release) between sessions.

It is also the reason that I want you to pray about this Fall. God has designed us to have ministry times of stretch and release, but I've seen too many leaders over the years who have not listened to God's voice in this area, and have pushed themselves to burn out. When that happens, they usually end up getting disconnected from God and angry at the church.  Friends, I care about you to much to have that happen in any of your lives.

If you've led for the past two sessions, I would like you to spend time praying this week about the idea that God might want you to have a break this Fall from leading a group, and join a group as a member. Even as I write this, it's a little terrifying, because I realize that many of you fit into this category, and it's unnerving to think about having you take a break. But I believe strongly that release points in your journey will serve you, God's people at New Life, and God's plan for our community far more in the long run.

If you've led for two sessions straight (Spring and Summer), then I would like you to prayerfully consider joining a group as a member instead of leading one.  This is not a command or requirement, but I believe it is an incredible way the coaches team and myself to care for you by making sure that you don't hit burn out.

Here are a few benefits to taking a break:
1) It gives you release time to recharge and get ready for next Spring.
2) It raises up new leaders from your group who can take the mantle of leadership.
3) It allows you to sit under another leader.

If you have been leading for one session. I would like pray and strongly consider leading again this fall. God is going to do amazing work in amazing work in our church through the New Testament Challenge, and He wants to use seasoned leaders like you to lead the charge as we dive into this new venture.

NEXT WEEK:
I will be asking ALL LEADERS to reply to my leaders email letting me know if you are:

1) MARRIED TO THE IDEA OF LEADING THIS FALL: You are definitely leading
2) DATING THE IDEA OF LEADING A GROUP THIS FALL: You are considering leading
3) ABSTAINING FROM LEADING A GROUP THIS FALL: You are planning to take a break from leading, and will be joining a group as a member. You may fit into this category because you've led for two consecutive sessions, or because God is leading you to other ministry opportunities this fall.

7th Inning Stretch

Can you believe that we've just passed the half way point of our Spring Life Group Session? That said, I think it's time for the Life Group 7th Inning Stretch. Last week we talked about personal development and goal setting as we journey through this Spring, and this week I want to talk about goal setting and development for your Life Group members in something that I'm calling the Life Group Seventh Inning Stretch. Here are a few tips as you continue to guide our community toward Christ.

• REFLECT:  The 7th inning stretch is a time for looking back at the game so far...
• Spend some time reflecting on your expectations coming into this session and ask:
• How has God worked in the ways that I expected?
• How has God worked in unexpected ways?
• Are there expectations/hopes that I had which have not come to pass? 
• If there are, try to identify why they haven't come to pass.
• Ask God to show you things that you can do to make those hopes a reality.

• SING: The 7th inning stretch is a time for singing and celebrating...
• Spend time thanking God for each of the people in your Life Group. 
• Spend time thanking God for the work that He is doing in the lives of the group members.
• Spend time worshiping God for who He is, and the work that He is doing.

• LOOK AHEAD: The 7th inning stretch is a time for planning for the rest of the game.
• Check your calendar:
• Have you scheduled and begun planning for:
• The groups communion time: See your Leaders Packet for tips on setting up communion.
• The groups service project: If not, scroll down to the blog for Rebuilding Together Petaluma, and sign your group up this week.
• The groups party.
• Look at each member of your group and ask God what He wants for them as they continue meeting together. He might bring up:
• A scripture that you should share with them. Some encouragement or challenge that you should share with them.
• NOTE: If He doesn't, that's okay, but we should always be asking God what He might want to say through us as we lead our groups. 
• Look at your own life, what is God speaking into your life and how are you following his promptings? 

Doing these things will help you connect with God, reflect on the past, and prepare for the future as you lead your group through the rest of this session. 

Deepen Your Understanding As You Lead Others!

As leaders, we're often asked questions that we don't know the answer to. Don't be scared when someone asks you something and you have no idea what to tell them, NO ONE EXPECTS YOU TO HAVE TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!  The best thing to say when you don't know the answer is: "I don't know, but I'll do some research and get back to you." Below are some helpful links as you:

• Look for answers to questions that come up in your group. 
• Do your preparation for group each week.

Take some time this week to brows through these sites so that you know where to go when a question comes up that stumps you.


Bible.org
258 theology questions answered by Michael Patton of The Theology Program. This site also has a bunch more resources!

Matthew Henry Commentary
This is a free online commentary of the whole Bible...you can look up answers to passages that puzzle you!

Bible Gateway
Read the Bible in multiple versions, as well as links to commentaries.  Another great use of Bible Gateway is to print out passages for your group, so that everyone can do the Bible study using the same translation.

International Standard Bible Encyclopedia
Search this highly respected encyclopedia to find explanations of every significant word in the Bible.

CCEL
Read hundreds of books from church history for free. Also search the entire library by word.

Dealing With Difficult People

Sometimes conflict arises from the most unlikely people!

We all dream of a Life Group where each member connects with the group, leader, and curriculum immediately.  However, you may be realizing that sometimes caring for the health of your group means dealing with a difficult person or situation by having a CAREfrontation.  

HAVING A "CAREFRONTATION"
Few of us look forward to confronting others, but the Bible tells us that sometimes confronting a destructive behavior in a person can be the most caring thing that you can do for them (and for your group) because it opens the door for God to move in a way that He couldn't as long as the behavior continued.  That's why we need to view these conversations as CAREfrontations instead of CONfrontations.



You probably need to have a CAREfrontation if a person in your group is... 

• Challenging everything that you say in a way that detracts from the conversation in the group.
• We want people to have the freedom to challenge the leaders point of view, but sometimes a person can challenge the leader so much that it limits the rest of the group members from being able to experience God through the curriculum that the leader is presenting.
• Putting down the ideas, comments, thoughts of you or others in the group in a way that shuts down the conversation.
• Is telling others to believe things that clearly are not taught in the Bible.

Here are some tips designed to guide you, should you find yourself needing to have a CAREfrontation.

1. SET UP A MEETING with the person outside of the Life Group setting. This can be as simple as asking them to come early, or stay after group.  Before the meeting do two things: 1) make sure to pray for the person and the conversation. 2) Make sure that the person signed the Life Group Member Agreement. Being on the same page with the person in terms of group expectations is key for a successful CAREfrontation.
2. COME WITH CHARITABLE EXPECTATIONS (i.e. don't assume the worst).  It's easy to assume that the person hates you, or the group, but the truth is, they could be going through something completely outside of your group which is flavoring the way they're acting in group.
3. IN THE MEETING: Ask a few probing questions: 
1. "Are you enjoying the group so far?"
2. "Have I done anything that has upset of frustrated you?"
4. SHARE YOUR FEELINGS/OBSERVATIONS: Ask the person if you can share with them something that you've observed of the the past few weeks. This opens the door for you to speak into their life.  If they say "yes" you can say:
1. "Last week in group I felt like ________ when you said ___________ to Tom." or "I feel belittled as the leader when you ask questions that seem condescending." (be ready to have an example if they ask for one).
5. TAKE THEM BACK TO THE GROUP AGREEMENT:
1. "One of our goals in this group is to be authentic and to create a safe place for each of the members of the group to experience God. I really value you, and your role in our group, and I want to ask that as we continue to meet together, that you make sure that the things you say are creating a safe place for the rest of our group to encounter God."
6. GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO RESPOND: Ideally they will respond positively to what you are sharing. If this doesn't happen, you will need to contact your coach and they can guide you through some next steps.
7. PRAY

NOTE: I realize this is a general overview of how to have a CAREfrontation. If you have specific questions about how to talk with someone regarding a certain issue that your group is facing. Please make sure to call your coach. Your coach is a fantastic resource as you lead your group.

HELP: 15 People Sign Up But Only 5 Showed Up!

I've edited a very helpful article by Allen White 
for this weeks post. (See original article here)

"Where did everyone go..."

Maybe those aren’t the specific numbers that you experienced in your group, but the reality is that it happens to every group at some point. DON'T WORRY... We're here to help!  Here are a couple of keys to riding the attendance roller coaster.

1. It’s not about you.  In the church, community is what we want, yet it’s what we resist the most. People got excited during promo month, so they signed up for your group. Between kids finishing school, Memorial day, and work, life just got in the way. After all, the road to you-know-where is paved with good intentions.  If someone hasn't shown up , don't take it personally, chances are, it's not about you.

2. Keep them on your list. Keep the communication flowing. Email them along with the rest of your group. Give them a call. The call should go something like this: “Hey, I was just wondering about you guys. Is everything okay? I’m not calling as the truant officer. I’m just calling because I care.” Chances are that they won’t slam down the phone after saying, “I don’t want you to care about me.” Who doesn’t want that?

3. Focus on who showed up rather than who didn’t.  My second time leading a group, the attendance regularly fluctuated from 10 people one week to 3 the next.Certain weeks there were only three of us. By the numbers, my group is a disaster. Yet, there are things you can talk about with two that you can’t discuss with eight. Maybe you do the lesson. Maybe you set the lesson aside. Before you start beating yourself or your group members up over low attendance, you need to do a quick check-in with God: “What do You intend for this group meeting? It doesn’t look like what I planned. What have You planned?” His plans are better anyway. So focus on who shows up, but make sure to contact the folks who don't.

4. Remember your Life Group and the ministry of your group are not the same. Some people may never show up for your group. Or, they’ll come once or twice, then you won’t hear from them for a while. Here’s the deal: whether they attend every week or once in a blue moon, they are yours. The group members who meet three out of four times a month are essentially your Life Group. Everyone else is in the “ministry” sphere of your Life Group. There is a reason that God has placed these folks in your life. Keep up with them. Help them when they need help. Pray for them. This is not some clandestine plot to convince them back to the group through your kindness, but it might work. This is your opportunity to love and serve, even if you never get anything in return

In a perfect world, everyone would honor their commitment and show up for every group gathering. But, this is not a perfect world. Here’s the deal: for that no-show on your list, you just might be their only connection to the body of Christ. Their well-being, of course, is not up to you. But, there is a reason that in all of the Life groups in our community, they signed up for yours. God will show you why.

IT'S NEVER TO LATE TO BREAK THE ICE!

 

The only thing worse than breaking the ice by yourself, is never breaking the ice at all! One of the tensions that we face as Life Group leaders is figuring out how to take a group of people (many of whom don't know each other), and help them open up in a way that will  connect them with the group, which will ultimately help connect them with God. 

As we head into our second week of groups I want to encourage you to continue looking for creative ways to break the ice and build those friendships. 

Here's a great Ice Breaker that I used in my group last week. 

Description: Below is a list of 20 questions. Take these questions and print them onto individual slips of paper, then place them in a hat and have each group member pull one of the pieces of paper out of the hat and answer the question on the paper. I gave people the option of putting the question back and picking another one if they didn't to answer the question that they drew.  Remember, we're going for ice breaker not inquisition!

Depending on the size of your group you should probably budget 10-20 minutes for this activity. 

HAPPY RELATIONSHIP BUILDING!

1. What is something you have won and how did you win it?
2. What is something you should throw away but can not?
3. What books have made a big impact on you?
4. What do you take for granted the most?
5. What is your all-time favorite movie and how many times have you seen it?
6. Where is your perfect dream vacation spot?
7. How many bones have you broken? Share the details?
8. When did you get your first traffic ticket? Share the details?
9. If you could go back in time, what year would visit? Why?
10. If you wrote a book about your life, what would it be called?
11. Which is the greater tragedy: an innocent person imprisoned or a guilty person set free?
12. When does the end justify the means?
13. When is OK to lie?
14. When was the last time you said, “It was my fault I am sorry. Explain the situation.
15. What makes you stand to your feet and cheer?
16. What one thing do you wish for more than anything else?
17. What do you think are the most common misconceptions about God?
18. What does “being spiritual” mean to you?
19. When and how often do you pray? What motivates you to pray?
20. What has produced the greatest spiritual growth in your life?

Note: Ice-breakers from “The Complete Book of Questions” by Garry Poole. 

Connecting People to God this Summer

On Easter Sunday (Apr. 24) God has called us to pray for (and invite) 500 new people to come and experience His transforming love.  I know that this vision is from God, because it's way to big for us to dream up on our own.  

God is preparing people all over the Petaluma area for an encounter with Him that will change their lives.  The question for us as Life Group leaders is; how will people connect into our community after their first visit?

Friends- people will come, they will encounter God, and God will begin a process of transformation in their lives, and He will continue the process of transformation largely through a Life Group this summer.

If God is stirring you to lead again this summer, this Friday (Apr. 10) is the deadline for getting in your Summer Life Group information. If you haven’t already given the following info to your coach, please copy and paste the list below into an email to me, fill it out, and send it over.  If you have questions about what you might lead this summer, click here to choose from an extensive curriculum list, or click here to view our Life Group in a box options.

 Leader: 

Group Title:

Leader Phone #:

Apprentice:

Day:

Time:

Demographic: (Who is the Group open to)? 

Location:

Material for group:

Resources available for purchase at:

Group Description:

Childcare available?

If yes, cost of Childcare?

May 14 Ignition Training (9am-12) RSVP:

Childcare needed? If yes, # of children and ages

I’m looking forward to serving many of you this summer as you lead a group. I'm looking forward to hearing from you, so why not shoot me a quick email right now at kevin@newlifepetaluma.org. 

LET'S CELEBRATE!

Landon woke me up at 1:15 this morning.  By the time he'd been fed, changed, and was down for his early morning power nap, it was 2am. For the life of me, I could not fall back asleep. I was to excited and amazed about the way that God worked in our community yesterday. For the first time in New Life's history, we had an impromptu invitation for baptism, and between the two services, right around 20 people who came forward and were baptized.

2 OPPORTUNITIES TO CELEBRATE:

• There is a good chance that one of the people baptized is in your Life Group: As their leader, you have the unique opportunity to celebrate this milestone in their faith journey. Here are a few tips for celebrating:

• If you don't know who was baptized... Ask!

• Most of us don't attend both services, so send a quick email to your group today sharing the exciting news about the baptism's and asking if anyone from your group participated in the baptism.  

• If someone in your group was baptized, look for a special way to celebrate their decision as a group.  Here are a few ways to celebrate:

• Bring some sort of special desert for them this week.
• Take time in group to let them share their story.
• Spend time in group thanking God for their decision.

• The second thing that I want to celebrate is YOU: I am continually amazed by your selfless service to our community.  Each week I get to hear stories about how people's lives are being changed because they are connecting with God through their Life Group. THANK YOU so much for responding to God and leading.  Because you've said yes to leading, men and women in our church are experiencing God in amazing ways. 

• FREE COFFEE SUNDAY: If you love coffee (or hot chocolate) like I do, read on...

• This Sunday I would like to buy you a cup of coffee from the espresso machine in the lobby as a small token of my appreciation.  
• If you'd like some free coffee, grab me before or after service and ask for your cup of coffee. 
• NOTE: Because of the nature of Sunday mornings, the free coffee give away will end 5 minutes before service begins, and will resume 5 minutes after service ends.

Have a great day, and don't forget to look for ways to celebrate the amazing work that God is doing with your group this week.
-Kevin

Deepen Your Understanding As You Lead Others!

As leaders, we're often asked questions that we don't know the answer to. Don't be scared when someone asks you something and you have no idea what to tell them, NO ONE EXPECTS YOU TO HAVE TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!  The best thing to say when you don't know the answer is: "I don't know, but I'll do some research and get back to you." Below are some helpful links as you:

• Look for answers to questions that come up in your group. 
• Do your preparation for group each week.

Take some time this week to brows through these sites so that you know where to go when a question comes up that stumps you.


Bible.org
258 theology questions answered by Michael Patton of The Theology Program. This site also has a bunch more resources!

Matthew Henry Commentary
This is a free online commentary of the whole Bible...you can look up answers to passages that puzzle you!

Bible Gateway
Read the Bible in multiple versions, as well as links to commentaries.  Another great use of Bible Gateway is to print out passages for your group, so that everyone can do the Bible study using the same translation.

International Standard Bible Encyclopedia
Search this highly respected encyclopedia to find explanations of every significant word in the Bible.

CCEL
Read hundreds of books from church history for free. Also search the entire library by word.

Spring 11 Ignition Traning Break Out Sessions

Below are the notes from two of the breakout sessions offered in our Spring Leaders training. 

Topics include:

• Pastoring People Through Crisis: A wonderful tool for your group leading tool belt.
• Embracing Conflict: This tool will help your group to thrive if tensions run high.
• New Leader Breakout: A great foundational tool for current apprentices as well as seasoned veterans to Life Group leading.

 

_______________________________________________

Pastoring People Though Crisis:

Leader: Brian McElreath

• Definitions

Crisis:  Any difficult time faced by a member of the group due to any circumstance happening in that individual’s life. 

All people in crisis react differently than one another; however, all crisis produce similar emotions in people.

Three common emotions produced by crisis

1.    Anger

2.   Depression

3.   Grief

• Practical ways of working with group members whom are suffering from depression.

1.       Actively Listen

Encouraging conversation can allow the group member to feel more in control of his/her emotions.

2.       Dedicate members of the group to support the member.

People suffering from depression need to know that all the members of the group care about their emotions.

3.       Pray Together for the person

Asking others to commit themselves to continually pray for the affected group member throughout the week/duration of the group. 

• Practical ways of working with group members facing grief:

1.    Realize that true grieving takes time.  Help them to realize the difference between Christian and Secular grieving methods.

• Grieving with a Christian Focus: 

1.   Feel your pain (“Jesus Wept” John 11:35)

2.   Review your loss(Phillipians 4: 6-7)

3.   Share your pain in community (Ecclesiastes 4:10)

4.   Pray for healing from the Holy Spirit (John 14:16)

5.   Seek Reconciliation (Romans 12:18)

6.   Trust God with your future (Deut 31:8)

• Practical tools to provide those dealing with anger:

1.   Face the real cause of your anger (Galations 5:13-26)

2.   Deal decisively with your anger (James 1:19-20)

3.   Die to anger; live by grace! (Galations 2:20)

4.   Break the chains of anger. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

5.   Replace your anger with acts of kindness/service (Eph 4:31)

6.   Fully deal with anger daily (Ephesians 4:26)

_______________________________________________

Embracing Conflict in the Small Group Setting

Leader: Brian McElreath

• Definitions:

Conflict:  Tensions or disagreements that will naturally occur when people genuinely begin to share life with one another.

Embracing:  Running towards rather than avoiding.  Enjoying the process and allowing it to shape the fabric and constitution of the setting. 

• Four TRUTHS

1. Conflict in small groups is inevitable.
2. Different personalities along with differing opinions often create conflict. 
3. Conflict in groups must be resolved. 
4. Groups with ongoing conflict between members cannot function normally and spiritual growth can and will be hindered. 

• How should you, the Leader respond to group conflict?

THE MOST VITAL STEP YOU CAN MAKE IN MANAGING CONFLICT IS TO..........

Get involved early as doing can keep the conflict from getting personal. 

• Two Options for resolving the conflict inside of the group setting:

1. If cooler heads prevail by the end of the session, discuss the situation after the group has officially ended for the night.  
2. If more time is needed, call the parties sometime after the group (later in the week) and ask them to consider an alternative solution (compromise of sorts)

• The Principle of TOUGH LOVE:

Leading a group is not simple and sometimes you have to step in with tough love and ask a person to leave the group.

Again conflicts must be resolved and the group’s health and long term cohesion is in jeopardy if conflicts persist. 

• 3 Practical Tips for Conflict Resolution for Leaders

1.      Do not take sides-

a.      If you do, you will not be able to keep an open mind

2.      When confronting know that how you say something is as important as what you say.

a.      Successful resolution requires patience and grace.

b.     Leading with patience and grace compels people to listen.

3.      Not all conflicts can be resolved.

a.      Remember you cannot change a person, only God can.

ALWAYS REMEMBER.......

Honesty and Grace will keep your group healthy and together!

“But as believers rapidly multiplied, there were rumblings of discontent.  The Greek-speaking believers grumbled about the Hebrew-speaking believers, saying that their widows were being discriminated against in the daily distribution of food.” Acts 6:1

_______________________________________________

New Leader Breakout:

Leaders: Rich Dunlap and Aris Pologeorgis

 

• GOALS FOR THIS BREAKOUT & FOR THIS TRIMESTER OF LIFE GROUP ARE: SUPPORT,  ENCOURAGEMENT, BE A RESOURCE, CHALLENGE & HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE, PRAY FOR YOU

• LIFE GROUPS ARE THE CLOSEST THING THAT EXISTS IN THE CHURCH TODAY THAT IS MOST LIKE THE EARLY CHURCH, THE ACTS 2 CHURCH

ACTS 2:42-47: 42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to
the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and
miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything
in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every
day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and
ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the
people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

• THOUGHT QUESTION — What are some words or short descriptions that come to mind when you think of someone who is an effective Life Group Leader?

• PORTRAIT OF AN EFFECTIVE LIFE GROUP LEADER

» TIME MANAGEMENT — PLAN AHEAD & SET TIME ASIDE EVERY WEEK FOR:
> PRAYING & READING THROUGH THE MATERIAL
> PRAYING FOR THE INDIVIDUALS IN YOUR GROUP
> FOLLOWING UP WITH EACH PERSON/COUPLE IN YOUR GROUP, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY:
■ OPENED UP TO AN UNUSUAL EXTENT
■ MISSED A SESSION

• ORGANIZATIONAL TIPS

> PRAYER JOURNAL
> NOTEBOOK
> CREATE A CONTACT LIST/DIRECTORY FOR YOUR GROUP
> GOT CELL PHONE ? — GET EVERYONE’S PHONE #’S IN THERE
> INVOLVE OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR GROUP (HOST, APPRENTICE, OR EVEN SOMEONE
FROM THE “GENERAL POPULATION”)
■ WRITE DOWN & EMAIL PRAYER REQUESTS
■ INVITING THEM TO READ FROM THE BIBLE OR THE ASSIGNED MATERIAL
■ ASKING SOMEONE ELSE TO FOLLOW UP WITH THOSE THAT MISSED A WEEK

 

• IDEAS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION AS A GROUP:

■ HAVE A MEAL TOGETHER
■ FIRE PIT TIME
■ HOUSE OF PRAYER .
■ “OPEN FORUM”
■ START AND END ON TIME
■ HAVE A BALANCE IN STRUCTURE

FIRM – Keeping the group focused and on task (jokers, clowns, & grumpys)

LOOSE – Being in tune with your group
(Tangents can sometimes be good, for a certain amount of time)
 

• A FEW COMMENTS ON GROUP DYNAMICS:

> Members should feel that they are in a team. All members are considered equal irrespective
of their hierarchical levels and skills. The team provides each person a sense of identity, self
worth, acceptance and belonging .
> LISTEN
■ LOOK AT THEIR FACE
■ MAKE EYE CONTACT
■ LET THEM SEE YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY HAVE TO OFFER
■ DO NOT GET INTO A DEBATE

If teaching and scripturally sure of your position, say that based on the
scripture, I interpret it to mean… and “let’s move on.” If not sure, then suggest that you & the questioner discuss it with your coach.  Do not drag it out because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. You will
lose control and the group will lose interest.
 

• TREASURING EACH PERSON IN YOUR LIFE GROUP: 

TIME SPENT WITH THEM — Nothing is an adequate substitute for quality time.
REMEMBER SPECIAL EVENTS — Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, etc.
ENCOURAGE THEM — Notes, phone calls, conversations at church, compliments, etc
ASK WHAT’S HAPPENING — Questions communicate love and partnership
SEEK FOR WAYS TO DEVELOP THEM — This is the primary goal of a healthy LG Leader
UPHOLD THEM IN PRAYER — Prayer brings God’s favor into both of your lives
REWARD THEM — Find them doing something good, and then make a big deal of it
EMPOWER THEM — As they grow, entrust them with greater LG responsibilities

• JUST SHOWING UP TO LEAD VS. PASTORING:

> IT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “I CAME, I SAW, I CONQUERED” AND
“I CARED, I PRAYED, I CAME”
» THE TERM PASTORING MAY SEEM INTIMIDATING, BUT DON’T LET IT SCARE YOU
> IT’S BOTH A LONG TERM AND A SHORT TERM GOAL
■ LONG - Something that we continually strive for and challenge ourselves to
(Prov. 27:17— “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” )
■ SHORT - Use the nuggets and start developing this part of your life right now .
» SOME ELEMENTS OF PASTORING
> PRAYER .
> FOLLOW UP
> CARE