Relax...It's Bibllical

As we wrap up another great session of Life Groups I am reminded how important it is to the health of our lives and ministry to REST & RELAX with the Lord and our loved ones.  I've combined a blog from Rick Warren about the importance of rest and relaxation with a sabbath "How To" which came out of a sermon that I preached a few years ago. My hope is that you are able to rest in the goodness of God as we close out the Spring and head into the Summer.

 ENJOY...

Rest and relaxation are so important that God put them in the Ten Commandments. God tells us to rest every seventh day. If you’re not taking a day off every week, you’re breaking one of the Ten Commandments – and you won’t be as effective as you could be in ministry (or anything else you do).

Jesus reminds us in Mark 2:27 that the command to take a Sabbath is for our own benefit: “Man was not given for the Sabbath but the Sabbath was given for man.” God gave us the Sabbath to help us to rest and restore. Our bodies need it.Jesus modeled this in His own ministry, and we need to model it in our ministries.

Relaxation: We need to take time to enjoy life.

Mark 6:31-32 says, “Because so many people were coming and going that they didn’t even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to them, `Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest’” (NIV). In other words, Jesus said, “Fellows, you deserve a break today. Come to the desert and we’re going to rest.”

Jesus modeled this God-created need to rest and relax. I’m more and more convinced of the importance of balance in ministry. All areas of our lives need to be balanced. There is an ebb and flow in ministry, a time when you give out and a time when you receive, a time when you work and a time when you rest. Ecclesiastes says, “There’s a time for everything in life” – to laugh, to cry, to build up, and to tear down.

The Bible says in Matthew 11:19 that Jesus came enjoying life . You don’t hear many theologians talking about that verse. They talk about Jesus the old sourpuss. Have you noticed on TV that the media always shows Jesus with a sour, dour, very serious face? But the Bible says, Jesus came enjoying life. He survived stress by enjoying life.

God wants you to do that. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 6:17, “God richly gives us everything to enjoy” (NCV). As we use it for His glory, we also get to enjoy it at the same time.

Balance is a key to stress management. I constantly remind my staff to --

* Divert daily – Take a mini-vacation every day to recharge.

* Withdraw weekly – Take a day off every week.
* Abandon annually – Take an extended period of time off every year.
Jesus rested regularly because he knew God designed us to need rest, but also because he was being obedient to the commands of God.

One great way to "Withdraw Weekly" and rest in the presence of God is by taking a sabbath.  Here are some practical elements to add into a sabbath day that will ensure that it is more than merely a day off.  Maria and I have been working to take a sabbath for the past year and a half, and it has become a wonderful part of our weekly rhythm. If you have more questions about taking a sabbath feel free to contact me and I'd be happy to talk.

SABBATH "HOW TO"

5 Distinctives To Include In Your Sabbath Experience

1) Celebrating God:

> Focus on the gifts that God has given you, not on the things that you don’t have. No focusing on the negative things in life on sabbath.

> Spend time reading the Bible, praying, and talking with your kids about the amazing love of God.

> Get out into nature or some place where you generally connect with God (i.e. the beach, mountains, etc.).

2)   Celebrating Family:

> Sabbath is a time for blessing your family. Spend time telling each person in your family what they mean to you and how much you love them. This may feel a bit foreign at first if you don't make this a regular practice. But it will transform your family dynamic.

> If you’re married, this is a day to be "intimate" with your spouse as a celebration of God’s gift of marriage.

3)  Celebrating Fun:

> Do something fun with your family. Imagine having kids who can’t wait to spend time with God because it’s so much fun! Do something that your kids and spouse love doing on the sabbath and tell them that you are doing this because it is part of God's design for your family (i.e. tie it into God, so that your kids associate God with incredible times with the family).

4)  Celebrating Service:

> The one group of people in the Bible who were not commanded to stop working on the sabbath were the people who served in the church. 

> Look for ways to serve in the church & community as part of Sabbath.  We don’t take sabbath from serving God. We take Sabbath by serving God.

5)   Celebrating Food:

> Sabbath is a time to have an amazing meal with those closest to you. 

      NOTE: If you're in need of rest, and are looking to take your relationship with God to a whole new level...Try taking a sabbath with your family (or close friends) this week. It will mean being intentional to get the errands, housework, and yard work done before the sabbath day, but if you do it, you will be amazed at how God meets and refreshes you during your sabbath.

THE 1 THING

A few weeks ago in a sermon I asked you to listen for the 1 THING that God wanted to say to you. I did that because I realize that whenever I preach there a lot of "good things" said, but chances are you won't remember a lot of good things. My hope was that if you listened for the 1 thing, it would stick, and God would use it in your life.

The same is true for our Life Groups. Over the course of a session there are a lot of good things said. But my hope is that you (and each person in your group) will leave with more than a general sense that it was a "good group". I want you to end with at least 1 THING that God really spoke to you.

WHAT IS YOUR 1 THING?

You're 1 THING could have to do with:

• You're leadership: Maybe there is an area of leadership that you really grew in, or that you want to grow in next round.
• Your personal journey with God: A way that He challenged, encouraged, or grew you.
• A sin to be dealt with: Did God bring up an area of sin that He's calling you to eradicate in your life.
• A new horizon: Maybe God brought up some new area (job, family, ministry) that He wants you to develop.

Spend 15 minutes today thinking through your 1 THING, because understanding the 1 THING will help make this experience a powerful life changing one for you.

WHAT IS THEIR 1 THING?

After you've done this individually, take your group through the process in one of your last weeks. It will cement the 1 THING in their lives and will open the door for God to continue to work long after the group ends.

 

Life Groups In A Box

Leading a Life Group Just Got Simpler!

ARE YOU EXCITED TO LEAD A GROUP, BUT DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO LEAD? Why not lead a Life Group In A Box? We’ve put everything in a box that you need to lead a Life Group, including: your curriculum and discussion guide, reading plan, group calendar, Life Group Agreement, name tags, ice-breaker suggestions, and communion cups.  All you need to do add is people! To find out how to sign up to lead a Life Group in a Box in Summer 2012, read on...

Curriculum Available with "LG in a Box” for Summer 2012!

(To check out one of these resources for the Summer LG Session, you need to email Kevin Finkbiner (Kevin@newlifepetaluma.org)  no later than Monday April 16.


The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
In this remarkable best-seller, Rick Warren will help you understand God’s purpose and plan for your life so that you can learn to live the life for which you were created. The book is divided into forty short chapters, very easy to read and yet will profoundly impact your life.
This is a life-transforming book which is great for new believers and those who have been walking with God for years.
Look inside the book with Amazon.com.



S.H.A.P.E. by Erik Rees
This study helps you pursue God’s unique purpose for your life based on the way God has shaped you. He made you unique for a reason; tap into that reason, and into the secrets of your own deeply personal makeup, and you’ll discover the path to a life of unimagined purpose, impact, and fulfillment.  Illustrated with real-life stories, this inspiring and deeply insightful book guides you through a series of challenges that will help you uncover your God-given S.H.A.P.E.:

• Spiritual Gifts – A set of special abilities that God has give to you to share his love and serve others.
• Heart – The special passions God has given you so that you can glorify him on earth.
• Abilities – The set of talents that God gave you when you were born, which he also wants you to use to make an impact for him.
• Personality – The special way God wired you to navigate life and fulfill your unique Kingdom Purpose.
• Experiences – Those parts of your past, both positive and painful, which God intends to use in great ways.

This book will help you discover your unique “S.H.A.P.E.,” explore it, then apply it in ways that will bring confidence, freedom, clarity, and significance.  The study includes a 6 DVD “shorts” to watch in your group, as well as discussion questions at the end of each chapter to help guide conversation in your group.

How To Really Parent Your Child: Anticipating what a child needs, instead of reacting to what a child does. by Ross Campbell

 By anticipating the needs of a child rather than reacting to his or her behaviors, parents develop a relational rather than adversarial family structure. Mothers and fathers will find tools aimed to help them build a healthy relationship with their child that meets all four basic emotional needs: to be nurtured in unconditional love, to be lovingly disciplined, to be trained in anger management, and to be protected from harmful influences. It is after these basic needs are met that a child will be able to understand and respond to spiritual matters. Combining practical advice with anecdotal examples, Campbell offers a purposeful, life-long approach to building happy, healthy, spiritual children. Look inside the book with Amazon.com



The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.  By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other.   Look inside the book with Amazon.com.

 ______________________________________________________________

How Can I Sign Up To Lead a LG in a Box?

If you would like to lead one of our Life Group in a Box curricula, email Kevin Finkbiner (kevin@newlifepetaluma.org) no later than April 16. In this email indicate which group you would like to lead. You will then "check out" your Life Group in a box (free of charge) two weeks before your group begins.
IMPORTANT NOTE: New Life will only be doing a certain number of each of these studies during a given session, so the curriculum is on a first come first serve basis.

Looking For Something Else? 

Check out tons of great Life Group curriculum by clicking on this Curriculum Guide – Produced by North Point Church..

We Need To Pray Just To Make It Today

In the words of one of my favorite early 90's rappers MC Hammer, "We need to pray just to make it today." Prayer is a powerful way to encounter God and give space for the Holy Spirit to work in people's lives.  Deep down we know that having a culture of prayer in our Life Groups is a determining factor of God's transforming work in group member's lives.  But we've probably all had group times that group fills up with so many other great things that the we end before we've had time to pray together. Or (if you're like me), we realize that the group is ending so we rush trough prayer requests with promises to pray for people throughout the week. Let's talk for a few minutes about some reasons to pray, and some tips for guiding the prayer request time.

WHY PRAY?

•  Prayer brings the issues before God and opens the door for Him to work in our lives.
• Prayer let's the Life Group members know what is going on in each others life and gives a chance share the load.
• Prayer gives the opportunity for vulnerability which draws the group closer to God and to each other.

3 Tips For Guiding Prayer Requests In Your Group... 

 When you enter into prayer time in your Life Group I would suggest trying this model for gathering the prayer requests:

• PRAISE: 

 We often come to God with a laundry list of requests. This has at least two unwanted effects

1.  We begin to view God as a vending machine (we put in our requests and He spits out an answer).
2. When we're constantly asking for more we forget about the prayers that He has answered and we begin to wonder if He's really working.

Starting with praises reminds the group of God's continued work in our midst and encourages us to give God the praise that He deserves.

•  PROBLEM (i.e. prayer request): 

Once the group is encouraged by the work that God is doing in their lives (because of the praises shared), try moving into requests. Ask people if there are things going on in their lives where they need God's help, His guidance, or His miraculous touch in their lives.

• PRAY: 

I'm not saying that you have to prayer for each group member every week (in some groups that I lead we prayer for each member each week, in other groups we prayer for certain people based on their prayer requests). What I am suggesting is that regular time of prayer is essential for the spiritual growth that God wants to bring to the members of your Life Group. 


How can you incorporate prayer into your group's DNA this week?

To watch the MC Hammer "PRAY" music video click here. WARNING: video may cause increased desire to pray, and a strong longing to wear parachute pants and tank tops! 

Dealing With Difficult People

Sometimes conflict arises from the most unlikely people!


We all dream of a Life Group where each member connects with the group, leader, and curriculum immediately.  However, you may be realizing that sometimes caring for the health of your group means dealing with a difficult person or situation by having a CAREfrontation.  

HAVING A "CAREFRONTATION"
Few of us look forward to confronting others, but the Bible tells us that sometimes confronting a destructive behavior in a person can be the most caring thing that you can do for them (and for your group) because it opens the door for God to move in a way that He couldn't as long as the behavior continued.  That's why we need to view these conversations as CAREfrontations instead of CONfrontations.



You probably need to have a CAREfrontation if a person in your group is... 

• Challenging everything that you say in a way that detracts from the conversation in the group.
• We want people to have the freedom to challenge the leaders point of view, but sometimes a person can challenge the leader so much that it limits the rest of the group members from being able to experience God through the curriculum that the leader is presenting.
• Putting down the ideas, comments, thoughts of you or others in the group in a way that shuts down the conversation.
• Is telling others to believe things that clearly are not taught in the Bible.
• If you see an area of sin in their life that you know will ultimately draw them away from God. 
• Speaking into this area in someones life is key to helping them experience the transforming work of God.

Here are some tips designed to guide you, should you find yourself needing to have a CAREfrontation.

1. SET UP A MEETING with the person outside of the Life Group setting. This can be as simple as asking them to come early, or stay after group.  Before the meeting do two things: 
1. 1) make sure to pray for the person and the conversation. 
2. 2) Make sure that the person signed the Life Group Member Agreement. Being on the same page with the person in terms of group expectations is key for a successful CAREfrontation.
2. COME WITH CHARITABLE ASSUMPTIONS (i.e. don't assume the worst).  It's easy to assume that the person hates you, or the group, but the truth is, they could be going through something completely outside of your group which is flavoring the way they're acting in group.
3. IN THE MEETING: Ask a few probing questions: 
1. "Are you enjoying the group so far?"
2. "Have I done anything that has upset of frustrated you?"
4. SHARE YOUR FEELINGS/OBSERVATIONS: Ask the person if you can share with them something that you've observed of the the past few weeks. This opens the door for you to speak into their life.  If they say "yes" you can say:
1. "Last week in group I felt like ________ when you said ___________ to Tom." or "I feel belittled as the leader when you ask questions that seem condescending." (be ready to have an example if they ask for one).
5. TAKE THEM BACK TO THE GROUP AGREEMENT:
1. "One of our goals in this group is to be authentic and to create a safe place for each of the members of the group to experience God. I really value you, and your role in our group, and I want to ask that as we continue to meet together, that you make sure that the things you say are creating a safe place for the rest of our group to encounter God."
6. GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO RESPOND: Ideally they will respond positively to what you are sharing. If this doesn't happen, you will need to contact your coach and they can guide you through some next steps.
7. PRAY

NOTE: I realize this is a general overview of how to have a CAREfrontation. If you have specific questions about how to talk with someone regarding a certain issue that your group is facing. Please make sure to call your coach. Your coach is a fantastic resource as you lead your group.

Stretch and Release

When I was in my early 20's I had some large ear piercings (think pencil sized hole in my ear lobe), but if you looked at my ears today, you would only notice a small hole where the piercings used to be. That's because human skin has an amazing amount of elasticity (think rubber band). Skin can stretch it to a certain point, and generally it snaps back into place (assuming that we take the right steps).  But there is a certain point where our skin has stretched beyond it's ability to snap back into place (think about someone who has huge holes where ear lobes used to be).

The same is true with our spirituality, life, and ministry. It's why God set up the world with stress and release  times (day and night, week and weekend, etc). It's why we've structured our Life Groups in 12 week sessions (stretch) with 1 month breaks (release) between sessions.

It is also the reason that I want you to pray about this Summer. God has designed us to have ministry times of stretch and release, but I've seen too many leaders over the years who have not listened to God's voice in this area, and have pushed themselves to burn out. When that happens, they usually end up getting disconnected from God, and angry at the church and the ministry that they serve in.  Friends, I care about you to much to have that happen in any of your lives.

If you've led for the past two or three sessions, I would like you to spend time praying this week about the idea that God might want you to have a break from leading a group this summer, and join a group as a member. Even as I write this, it's a little terrifying, because I realize that many of you fit into this category, and it's unnerving to think about having you take a break. But I believe strongly that release points in your journey will serve you, God's people at New Life, and God's plan for our community far more in the long run.

If you've led for two or three sessions straight, then I would like you to prayerfully consider joining a group as a member instead of leading one this summer.  This is not a command or requirement, but I believe it is an incredible way the coaches team and myself to care for you by making sure that you don't hit burn out.

Here are a few benefits to taking a break:
1) It gives you release time to recharge and get ready for next Spring.
2) It raises up new leaders from your group who can take the mantle of leadership.
3) It allows you to sit under another leader. Getting into a LG as a member is key to recharging. If you simply stop leading and don't join a group, the chances of getting disconnected from God and community go up drastically.


If you have been leading for one session. I would like pray and strongly consider leading again this Summer. God is going to do amazing work  in our church through our groups this summer, and He wants to use seasoned leaders like you to lead the charge as we dive into this new venture.

BY NEXT WEEK:
If you haven't already been in contact with your coach about this Summer, then I'd like you to email them and let them know if you are:

1) MARRIED TO THE IDEA OF LEADING THIS SUMMER: You are definitely leading
2) DATING THE IDEA OF LEADING A GROUP THIS SUMMER: You are considering leading
3) ABSTAINING FROM LEADING A GROUP THIS SUMMER: You are planning to take a break from leading, and will be joining a group as a member. You may fit into this category because you've led for two consecutive sessions, or because God is leading you to other ministry opportunities this fall.

If you have specifics about leading this summer (type of group, day, time, etc) please email that info to your coach as well.

I love serving in this ministry with each of you and pray regularly for you and your group. Have a week!
-Kev

7th Inning Stretch

 Can you believe that we've just passed the half way point of our Spring Life Group Session? That said, I think it's time for the Life Group 7th Inning Stretch. Last week we talked about personal development and goal setting as we journey through this Spring, and this week I want to talk about goal setting and development for your Life Group members in something that I'm calling the Life Group Seventh Inning Stretch. Here are a few tips as you continue to guide our community toward Christ.

• REFLECT:  The 7th inning stretch is a time for looking back at the game so far...
• Spend some time reflecting on your expectations coming into this session and ask:
• How has God worked in the ways that I expected?
• How has God worked in unexpected ways?
• Are there expectations/hopes that I had which have not come to pass? 
• If there are, try to identify why they haven't come to pass.
• Ask God to show you things that you can do to make those hopes a reality.

• SING: The 7th inning stretch is a time for singing and celebrating...
• Spend time thanking God for each of the people in your Life Group. 
• Spend time thanking God for the work that He is doing in the lives of the group members.
• Spend time worshiping God for who He is, and the work that He is doing.

• LOOK AHEAD: The 7th inning stretch is a time for planning for the rest of the game.
• Check your calendar:
• Have you scheduled and begun planning for:
• The groups communion time: See your Leaders Packet for tips on setting up communion.
• The groups service project: If not, scroll down to the blog for Rebuilding Together Petaluma, and sign your group up this week.
• The groups party.
• Look at each member of your group and ask God what He wants for them as they continue meeting together. He might bring up:
• A scripture that you should share with them. Some encouragement or challenge that you should share with them.
• NOTE: If He doesn't, that's okay, but we should always be asking God what He might want to say through us as we lead our groups. 
• Look at your own life, what is God speaking into your life and how are you following his promptings? 

Doing these things will help you connect with God, reflect on the past, and prepare for the future as you lead your group through the rest of this session.

Developing Your Spiritual Growth Plan

What are your spiritual next steps?

AT OUR IGNITION KICKOFF back in January, I said that God's great desire for you is that you would grow closer to Him and become more like Him in your thoughts, words, and actions. We're sneaking up on the halfway point of this session and now is a great time to check in with God to see how you're doing in terms of your own personal growth toward Christ. If you didn't set growth goals in January, don't worry, it's never to late to start. Here are some tips to help you set some spiritual next steps:

CREATING SPIRITUAL NEXT STEPS

DEFINE THE GOAL: Do you know what "growing closer to God" actually looks like in your life? If you aren't clear about what your goal is, then you can't grow.

• FIGURING OUT WHAT GROWTH LOOKS LIKE: To figure out what your spiritual next steps are for this spring, spend some time in prayer and reflection asking God WHAT you need to grow in. 
• This could be an internal spiritual practice, it could be a behavior that you want to change, it could be an action that you want to begin taking. 
• WRITE IT DOWN: Once you figure out "what" you growth looks like, make sure to write it down. If it's not written down, chances are you won't do it. So figure out what you want to work on, and write it down!

SET ACTION POINTS: Get specific about what growth looks like. This will set you up for success in achieving your goal(s), so make the choice to get specific, and place that information somewhere that you will see it on a regular basis.

• Here are a few examples of what this could look like:

• EXAMPLE 1: If your goal is to understand God more fully by getting into His Word, don't say "I want to read my Bible more." Instead say, "I want to read my Bible 15 minutes a day, seven days a week, and spend 7 minutes in prayer and reflection at the end of each Bible reading, then stick it on your bathroom mirror so you see it each morning.
• EXAMPLE 2: If your goal is to love God more by loving your spouse, don't say, "I will be more loving and servant oriented toward my spouse." Instead say, "I will do one act of service for my spouse 5 times a week, and will tell them that I love them at least 1 time each day." Then stick it to the back of your cell phone.

 TELL SOMEONE: Accountability will be key in helping you achieve your goals.

• Who are you going to tell? This could be your spouse, trusted friend, co-leader, etc. The important things is that this person is someone who you know will follow up with you to make sure that you're sticking to your goal.  

 MY STORY: For years I've made it  a general rule to study the Bible and spend time in prayer almost every day (with some misses when things got out of control), but 10 months ago I was challenged that I need to be in God's Word every day WITHOUT EXCEPTION, if I truly wanted to continue growing deeper toward God. That day I placed an hour time slot on my calendar for Scripture study and prayer, told my wife about the decision, and began to work my plan. I have not missed a day in God's Word since, and it has been incredible. God's great desire is not simply that we would lead, but that as we lead, we would draw close to Him in amazing ways. Let's set some goal, set some action points, tell someone, and take those next steps!

SERVANT EVANGELISM through REBUILDING TOGETHER PETALUMA

Let's Rebuild Something Together

A service evangelism project is...

• Simply a way (through an act of service or other means) to help people experience the love of God.  If you don’t have a service evangelism project  that you and your group are excited about, then we’d like encourage you to take part in Rebuilding Together Petaluma as your service evangelism project.

What Is Rebuilding Together Petaluma…

• Rebuilding Together Petaluma (RTP) is a non profit organization that does free home improvement projects (using a volunteer force) for members of our community that could use a helping hand. New Life has partnered with RTP for a number of years and this Spring they offered us the chance to take 10 sites for the spring project.

When Is RTP's Next Project… 

• The project that we can partner w/ RTP on is APRIL 21

What does this mean for us…

• This is an incredible opportunity to make a long lasting impact in Petaluma through one day of selfless service. To be able to man the 10 sites we will need at least 150 people (probably closer to 200 folks). If you are looking for an incredible service evangelism project, then we want to highly recommend RTP.

How Do I Register W/ My Group...

• You can register with your group by clicking here  (NOTE: each person in your group who is working on this project must register). The #1 best way to ensure that everyone registers is to take a laptop to your group (or use the hosts computer) and sign your group up on the spot. The sign up only takes a minute or two per person. This will ensure that your group members actually sign up.

• There is a box for “I prefer to work with the following group or persons” place “New Life” in this box (not NLCF, just New Life). 

 1 VERY VERY IMPORTANT FINAL STEP...

 I (Kevin) need to know right when you sign up with your group for Rebuilding Together so that I can email the folks at RTP and let them know to place your Life Group on the same project. If you don't email me your Life Group WILL NOT be working together. When you sign up please email my at kevin@newlifepetaluma.org so that I can work to ensure that your group serves together.

WHERE'D THEY GO? Why God Cares About Follow Up!

WE ALL HAVE SOMEONE who signed up for our group and either only showed up once, or never showed up at all. Which leaves us with the question that EVERY Life Group leader must ask at some point during this session. Why & How (if at all) should I follow up with someone who signed up but didn't show up?

4 REASONS WHY Follow Up Is Vital

1.  GOD CALLED THEM INTO YOUR GROUP! At some point during our promo month God stirred something in them to join your group. Following up opens the door for people to act on the promptings of God.
2. EVERYONE IS BUSY: I sent a personal email out to 60 people who joined groups last Fall but did not join a group this Spring. My goal was simple: figure out what happened (did something happen in the last group that made them not want to join again, did they have a hard time finding a group that they wanted to join, etc). The vast majority of responses (over 95%) said that they were just too busy to join a group this spring. 
• GOOD NEWS: While the person who hasn't showed up is likely busy, they have already committed to being in your group which means they have the that time set aside for group.
3. IF YOU ASK, THEY WILL COME: A number of the people who I emailed responded saying that the email was the impetus that they needed to join a group, so they went online and signed up that day.
4. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU: When people don't show up for our group, if often plays into our own insecurities, but the truth is, someone not coming almost always has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

3 TIPS FOR MAKING CONNECTION

1. CALL IMMEDIATELY: Make a 20 minute appointment on your calendar for the DAY AFTER every Life Group to make follow up calls. We should be calling every person that missed our group the day after they miss.
2. CARE (People Are God's Passion): The goal of connecting with someone who missed life group (either frequently or infrequently) is not simply to get them back to your group. It is to let them know that they matter to you (and by extension matter to God). He has placed them in your group so that you can care for them. 
• In Matt. 18 Jesus talks about a good shepherd leaving 99 sheep to go after the 1 that wandered away. God wants us to connect with the one missing person (even if we have 14 other committed folks who come every week).
3. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY: Make sure that you know what you want to communicate to the person that you are calling. This is key to helping them feel like you are Checking IN with them and not checking UP on them. Here's a potential outline:

Hi __________

"I missed you at Life Group last night and wanted to make sure that everything was ok."

• Wait for their reply. If something happened offer to pray for them on the phone, and let them know that you'll be praying for them this week.

"I'd love to have you join us at group next week, do you think you'll be able to make it."

• Note: asking the question and waiting for a response is key to helping people make commitments.

"Fantastic, I'll shoot you the info from this week so that you're ready to go. I'm looking forward to seeing you on Sunday and at our next gathering."

What's With All the Questions...

ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS is one of the hardest things for many leaders to do is also one of the essentials for a healthy group. Asking questions has incredible benefits to you and your Life Group including but not limited to:

• Giving people ownership in the discussion (and as a result, ownership in the group which helps them stick around).
• Allowing others to share their thoughts in a safe environment.
• Giving external processors the time to process. Many people learn best when they are talking their thoughts out loud.
• Asking questions relieves you from having the burden of always talking.

WHAT IS A GOOD QUESTION? Here are a few things to keep in mind when writing down and asking questions:

• What is the heart of this week's study, and does my question get people closer to the heart of the topic?
• Does my question elicit a conversational response or a yes no answer? 
• Tip: Try to stay away from questions that lend themselves to a one word response or you will feel like you're pulling teeth to get people to talk.
•  A good question should spark a dialogue in your group. If you are asking the right questions, you may only need 3-5 questions for your entire discussion.
• Tip: It can be helpful to let the question spin into other questions that the groups has, but beware that this can easily get the group off track of the heart of the study. If this happens, gently guide the conversation back by saying something like "That's a great thought that I'd love to explore more later, but for now is it alright if I move us in a different direction?"
• A good question brings multiple answers. 
• Tip: Stay away from responding to each person's response. Instead say, "That's a great thought, does anyone else have something to add to that?"

HOW IS MY QUESTION TO COMMENT RATIO?
If you're anything like me then it might be easier to monologue than it is to ask questions (makes for a good preacher, but poses an obstacle in Life Group leading). In your group this week I want to encourage you to notice your question to comment ratio. Here's how:

• Somewhere on your notes try keeping track of the number of questions that you ask, and the number of comments (or statements) that you make. I believe your question to comment ration should be at least 2 to 1 (two questions for every comment). See if you can do the 2 to 1 ratio in your group this week.