LET'S CELEBRATE!

Landon woke me up at 1:15 this morning.  By the time he'd been fed, changed, and was down for his early morning power nap, it was 2am. For the life of me, I could not fall back asleep. I was to excited and amazed about the way that God worked in our community yesterday. For the first time in New Life's history, we had an impromptu invitation for baptism, and between the two services, right around 20 people who came forward and were baptized.

2 OPPORTUNITIES TO CELEBRATE:

• There is a good chance that one of the people baptized is in your Life Group: As their leader, you have the unique opportunity to celebrate this milestone in their faith journey. Here are a few tips for celebrating:

• If you don't know who was baptized... Ask!

• Most of us don't attend both services, so send a quick email to your group today sharing the exciting news about the baptism's and asking if anyone from your group participated in the baptism.  

• If someone in your group was baptized, look for a special way to celebrate their decision as a group.  Here are a few ways to celebrate:

• Bring some sort of special desert for them this week.
• Take time in group to let them share their story.
• Spend time in group thanking God for their decision.

• The second thing that I want to celebrate is YOU: I am continually amazed by your selfless service to our community.  Each week I get to hear stories about how people's lives are being changed because they are connecting with God through their Life Group. THANK YOU so much for responding to God and leading.  Because you've said yes to leading, men and women in our church are experiencing God in amazing ways. 

• FREE COFFEE SUNDAY: If you love coffee (or hot chocolate) like I do, read on...

• This Sunday I would like to buy you a cup of coffee from the espresso machine in the lobby as a small token of my appreciation.  
• If you'd like some free coffee, grab me before or after service and ask for your cup of coffee. 
• NOTE: Because of the nature of Sunday mornings, the free coffee give away will end 5 minutes before service begins, and will resume 5 minutes after service ends.

Have a great day, and don't forget to look for ways to celebrate the amazing work that God is doing with your group this week.
-Kevin

Deepen Your Understanding As You Lead Others!

As leaders, we're often asked questions that we don't know the answer to. Don't be scared when someone asks you something and you have no idea what to tell them, NO ONE EXPECTS YOU TO HAVE TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!  The best thing to say when you don't know the answer is: "I don't know, but I'll do some research and get back to you." Below are some helpful links as you:

• Look for answers to questions that come up in your group. 
• Do your preparation for group each week.

Take some time this week to brows through these sites so that you know where to go when a question comes up that stumps you.


Bible.org
258 theology questions answered by Michael Patton of The Theology Program. This site also has a bunch more resources!

Matthew Henry Commentary
This is a free online commentary of the whole Bible...you can look up answers to passages that puzzle you!

Bible Gateway
Read the Bible in multiple versions, as well as links to commentaries.  Another great use of Bible Gateway is to print out passages for your group, so that everyone can do the Bible study using the same translation.

International Standard Bible Encyclopedia
Search this highly respected encyclopedia to find explanations of every significant word in the Bible.

CCEL
Read hundreds of books from church history for free. Also search the entire library by word.

Spring 11 Ignition Traning Break Out Sessions

Below are the notes from two of the breakout sessions offered in our Spring Leaders training. 

Topics include:

• Pastoring People Through Crisis: A wonderful tool for your group leading tool belt.
• Embracing Conflict: This tool will help your group to thrive if tensions run high.
• New Leader Breakout: A great foundational tool for current apprentices as well as seasoned veterans to Life Group leading.

 

_______________________________________________

Pastoring People Though Crisis:

Leader: Brian McElreath

• Definitions

Crisis:  Any difficult time faced by a member of the group due to any circumstance happening in that individual’s life. 

All people in crisis react differently than one another; however, all crisis produce similar emotions in people.

Three common emotions produced by crisis

1.    Anger

2.   Depression

3.   Grief

• Practical ways of working with group members whom are suffering from depression.

1.       Actively Listen

Encouraging conversation can allow the group member to feel more in control of his/her emotions.

2.       Dedicate members of the group to support the member.

People suffering from depression need to know that all the members of the group care about their emotions.

3.       Pray Together for the person

Asking others to commit themselves to continually pray for the affected group member throughout the week/duration of the group. 

• Practical ways of working with group members facing grief:

1.    Realize that true grieving takes time.  Help them to realize the difference between Christian and Secular grieving methods.

• Grieving with a Christian Focus: 

1.   Feel your pain (“Jesus Wept” John 11:35)

2.   Review your loss(Phillipians 4: 6-7)

3.   Share your pain in community (Ecclesiastes 4:10)

4.   Pray for healing from the Holy Spirit (John 14:16)

5.   Seek Reconciliation (Romans 12:18)

6.   Trust God with your future (Deut 31:8)

• Practical tools to provide those dealing with anger:

1.   Face the real cause of your anger (Galations 5:13-26)

2.   Deal decisively with your anger (James 1:19-20)

3.   Die to anger; live by grace! (Galations 2:20)

4.   Break the chains of anger. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

5.   Replace your anger with acts of kindness/service (Eph 4:31)

6.   Fully deal with anger daily (Ephesians 4:26)

_______________________________________________

Embracing Conflict in the Small Group Setting

Leader: Brian McElreath

• Definitions:

Conflict:  Tensions or disagreements that will naturally occur when people genuinely begin to share life with one another.

Embracing:  Running towards rather than avoiding.  Enjoying the process and allowing it to shape the fabric and constitution of the setting. 

• Four TRUTHS

1. Conflict in small groups is inevitable.
2. Different personalities along with differing opinions often create conflict. 
3. Conflict in groups must be resolved. 
4. Groups with ongoing conflict between members cannot function normally and spiritual growth can and will be hindered. 

• How should you, the Leader respond to group conflict?

THE MOST VITAL STEP YOU CAN MAKE IN MANAGING CONFLICT IS TO..........

Get involved early as doing can keep the conflict from getting personal. 

• Two Options for resolving the conflict inside of the group setting:

1. If cooler heads prevail by the end of the session, discuss the situation after the group has officially ended for the night.  
2. If more time is needed, call the parties sometime after the group (later in the week) and ask them to consider an alternative solution (compromise of sorts)

• The Principle of TOUGH LOVE:

Leading a group is not simple and sometimes you have to step in with tough love and ask a person to leave the group.

Again conflicts must be resolved and the group’s health and long term cohesion is in jeopardy if conflicts persist. 

• 3 Practical Tips for Conflict Resolution for Leaders

1.      Do not take sides-

a.      If you do, you will not be able to keep an open mind

2.      When confronting know that how you say something is as important as what you say.

a.      Successful resolution requires patience and grace.

b.     Leading with patience and grace compels people to listen.

3.      Not all conflicts can be resolved.

a.      Remember you cannot change a person, only God can.

ALWAYS REMEMBER.......

Honesty and Grace will keep your group healthy and together!

“But as believers rapidly multiplied, there were rumblings of discontent.  The Greek-speaking believers grumbled about the Hebrew-speaking believers, saying that their widows were being discriminated against in the daily distribution of food.” Acts 6:1

_______________________________________________

New Leader Breakout:

Leaders: Rich Dunlap and Aris Pologeorgis

 

• GOALS FOR THIS BREAKOUT & FOR THIS TRIMESTER OF LIFE GROUP ARE: SUPPORT,  ENCOURAGEMENT, BE A RESOURCE, CHALLENGE & HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE, PRAY FOR YOU

• LIFE GROUPS ARE THE CLOSEST THING THAT EXISTS IN THE CHURCH TODAY THAT IS MOST LIKE THE EARLY CHURCH, THE ACTS 2 CHURCH

ACTS 2:42-47: 42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to
the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and
miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything
in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every
day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and
ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the
people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

• THOUGHT QUESTION — What are some words or short descriptions that come to mind when you think of someone who is an effective Life Group Leader?

• PORTRAIT OF AN EFFECTIVE LIFE GROUP LEADER

» TIME MANAGEMENT — PLAN AHEAD & SET TIME ASIDE EVERY WEEK FOR:
> PRAYING & READING THROUGH THE MATERIAL
> PRAYING FOR THE INDIVIDUALS IN YOUR GROUP
> FOLLOWING UP WITH EACH PERSON/COUPLE IN YOUR GROUP, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY:
■ OPENED UP TO AN UNUSUAL EXTENT
■ MISSED A SESSION

• ORGANIZATIONAL TIPS

> PRAYER JOURNAL
> NOTEBOOK
> CREATE A CONTACT LIST/DIRECTORY FOR YOUR GROUP
> GOT CELL PHONE ? — GET EVERYONE’S PHONE #’S IN THERE
> INVOLVE OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR GROUP (HOST, APPRENTICE, OR EVEN SOMEONE
FROM THE “GENERAL POPULATION”)
■ WRITE DOWN & EMAIL PRAYER REQUESTS
■ INVITING THEM TO READ FROM THE BIBLE OR THE ASSIGNED MATERIAL
■ ASKING SOMEONE ELSE TO FOLLOW UP WITH THOSE THAT MISSED A WEEK

 

• IDEAS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION AS A GROUP:

■ HAVE A MEAL TOGETHER
■ FIRE PIT TIME
■ HOUSE OF PRAYER .
■ “OPEN FORUM”
■ START AND END ON TIME
■ HAVE A BALANCE IN STRUCTURE

FIRM – Keeping the group focused and on task (jokers, clowns, & grumpys)

LOOSE – Being in tune with your group
(Tangents can sometimes be good, for a certain amount of time)
 

• A FEW COMMENTS ON GROUP DYNAMICS:

> Members should feel that they are in a team. All members are considered equal irrespective
of their hierarchical levels and skills. The team provides each person a sense of identity, self
worth, acceptance and belonging .
> LISTEN
■ LOOK AT THEIR FACE
■ MAKE EYE CONTACT
■ LET THEM SEE YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY HAVE TO OFFER
■ DO NOT GET INTO A DEBATE

If teaching and scripturally sure of your position, say that based on the
scripture, I interpret it to mean… and “let’s move on.” If not sure, then suggest that you & the questioner discuss it with your coach.  Do not drag it out because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. You will
lose control and the group will lose interest.
 

• TREASURING EACH PERSON IN YOUR LIFE GROUP: 

TIME SPENT WITH THEM — Nothing is an adequate substitute for quality time.
REMEMBER SPECIAL EVENTS — Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, etc.
ENCOURAGE THEM — Notes, phone calls, conversations at church, compliments, etc
ASK WHAT’S HAPPENING — Questions communicate love and partnership
SEEK FOR WAYS TO DEVELOP THEM — This is the primary goal of a healthy LG Leader
UPHOLD THEM IN PRAYER — Prayer brings God’s favor into both of your lives
REWARD THEM — Find them doing something good, and then make a big deal of it
EMPOWER THEM — As they grow, entrust them with greater LG responsibilities

• JUST SHOWING UP TO LEAD VS. PASTORING:

> IT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “I CAME, I SAW, I CONQUERED” AND
“I CARED, I PRAYED, I CAME”
» THE TERM PASTORING MAY SEEM INTIMIDATING, BUT DON’T LET IT SCARE YOU
> IT’S BOTH A LONG TERM AND A SHORT TERM GOAL
■ LONG - Something that we continually strive for and challenge ourselves to
(Prov. 27:17— “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” )
■ SHORT - Use the nuggets and start developing this part of your life right now .
» SOME ELEMENTS OF PASTORING
> PRAYER .
> FOLLOW UP
> CARE

Life Groups in a Box

Leading a Life Group Just Got Simpler!

We’ve put everything in a box that you need to lead a Life Group, including: your curriculum and discussion guide, reading plan, group calendar, Life Group Agreement, name tags, ice-breaker suggestions, and communion cups.  All you need to do add is people! To find out how to sign up to lead a Life Group in a Box in Summer 2011, read on...

 

 

 

Curriculum Available with "LG in a Box” for Summer 2011!

(To check out one of these resources for the Summer LG Session, you need to email Kevin Finkbiner (Kevin@newlifepetaluma.org)  no later than Friday April 1.

S.H.A.P.E. by Erik Rees
This study helps you pursue God’s unique purpose for your life based on the way God has shaped you. He made you unique for a reason; tap into that reason, and into the secrets of your own deeply personal makeup, and you’ll discover the path to a life of unimagined purpose, impact, and fulfillment.  Illustrated with real-life stories, this inspiring and deeply insightful book guides you through a series of challenges that will help you uncover your God-given S.H.A.P.E.:

• Spiritual Gifts – A set of special abilities that God has give to you to share his love and serve others.
• Heart – The special passions God has given you so that you can glorify him on earth.
• Abilities – The set of talents that God gave you when you were born, which he also wants you to use to make an impact for him.
• Personality – The special way God wired you to navigate life and fulfill your unique Kingdom Purpose.
• Experiences – Those parts of your past, both positive and painful, which God intends to use in great ways.

This book will help you discover your unique “S.H.A.P.E.,” explore it, then apply it in ways that will bring confidence, freedom, clarity, and significance.  The study includes a 6 DVD “shorts” to watch in your group, as well as discussion questions at the end of each chapter to help guide conversation in your group.



The Hole in our Gospel by Richard Stearns
What does God expect of us in response to the poor?  This radical, eye-opening series challenges and equips Christians in just that.  This is the story of how a corporate CEO faced his own struggle to obey God whatever the cost, and his passionate call for Christians to change the world by actively living out their faith.  Using his own journey as an example, Stearns explores the hole that exists in our understanding the gospel.
The series includes fast-paced documentary DVD “shorts” and real-life stories and insights on poverty and injustice.

Starting Point by Andy Stanley

No Matter what your age or stage in life, we all start our spiritual journey at the same place, the beginning. Starting point is an amazing curriculum that guides both  not yet and new Christians to an awakening of the story that God is writing in their lives.  If you have a passion to guide others to an awakening of their faith, this material will be a wonderful tool for you. Read more at Amazon.com



The Me I Want to Be  by John Ortberg
This book will help you discover spiritual vitality like never before as you learn to ‘live in the flow of the spirit.’  This book will show how God’s perfect vision for you starts with a powerful promise. All those who trust in God ‘will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit’ (Jeremiah 17:7-8). Ortberg urges you to recognize your brokenness, understand that God is the project manager, and follow His directions. The author first helps gauge your spiritual health and measure the gap between where you are now and where God intends you to be. Then he provides exercises to help you live in the flow of the Spirit. The Me I Want to Be shows you how to graciously accept God’s invitation to live as He intended. Read more at Amazon.com.



The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
In this remarkable best-seller, Rick Warren will help you understand God’s purpose and plan for your life so that you can learn to live the life for which you were created. The book is divided into forty short chapters, very easy to read and yet will profoundly impact your life.
This is a life-transforming book which is great for new believers and those who have been walking with God for years.
Look inside the book with Amazon.com.

How To Really Parent Your Child: Anticipating what a child needs, instead of reacting to what a child does. by Ross Campbell

 By anticipating the needs of a child rather than reacting to his or her behaviors, parents develop a relational rather than adversarial family structure. Mothers and fathers will find tools aimed to help them build a healthy relationship with their child that meets all four basic emotional needs: to be nurtured in unconditional love, to be lovingly disciplined, to be trained in anger management, and to be protected from harmful influences. It is after these basic needs are met that a child will be able to understand and respond to spiritual matters. Combining practical advice with anecdotal examples, Campbell offers a purposeful, life-long approach to building happy, healthy, spiritual children. Look inside the book with Amazon.com



The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.  By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other.   Look inside the book with Amazon.com.

 ______________________________________________________________

How Can I Sign Up To Lead a LG in a Box?

If you would like to lead one of our Life Group in a Box curricula, email Kevin Finkbiner (kevin@newlifepetaluma.org) no later than April 5. In this email indicate which group you would like to lead. You will then "check out" your Life Group in a box (free of charge) two weeks before your group begins.
IMPORTANT NOTE: New Life will only be doing a certain number of each of these studies during a given session, so the curriculum is on a first come first serve basis.

Looking For Something Else? 

Check out tons of great Life Group curriculum by clicking on this Curriculum Guide – Produced by North Point Church..

Two Great Serving Opportunities

One of the core commitments of a Life Group is the agreement to serve in our community as a group (at least) once during the session. I know that for some of us this can be intimidating, not because of a lack of desire, but because we don't know how to get our group connected with the appropriate service opportunity. Below are two wonderful service options that you can take advantage of with your group. Each of these promises to be a wonderful chance to serve God by loving and serving others.

SERVICE OPTION 1: Rebuilding Together Petaluma Volunteer Work Day

• When: April 9 from 8am to 4pm (lunch provided)
• Where: Various locations around Petaluma.
• What will we be doing? Groups will be doing a wide variety of home repair projects for "high needs" folks in petaluma (low income, elderly, disabled individuals/families).
• Will my Life Group be assigned to work together? YES- the director has indicated that she will be able to assign our groups to work together.
• How do I get my Life Group involved? 
• Talk with your group this week to find out if they would like to make this their project, and roughly how many people will be able to attend from your group.
• Email Kevin (kevin@newlifepetaluma.org) no later than 3/3 to let me know if your group would like to take part in this project.

 SERVICE OPTION 2: Serving Food @ The Lucchesi Center

• When: March 29 from 5-6:30pm
• Where: Lucchesi Center Parking Lot
• What will we be doing? You will be working with other New Lifer's to distribute food to "high needs" folks in Petaluma (low income, elderly, disabled individuals/families). 
• How can I get my Life Group involved? We are looking for approx 20 New Lifer's to partner with New Life's Serve team to distribute food. If your group is interested email Kevin (kevin@newlifepetaluma.org) to sign your group up. Due to limited space the sign up's will be on a first come first serve basis.

Leading Your Group In Communion

Here’s a simple outline, from Rick Warren, that you might use in preparing your group to take communion. I've added some info on preparing communion at the bottom of the article as a little refresher. You can find more on Communion in your Ignition Leaders Packet on page 13.
 
THE MEANING OF THE LORD’S SUPPER (COMMUNION):
Jesus never asked His disciples to remember His birth. But He did instruct them to remember His death and resurrection. He gave the church two visible symbols (called “ordinances”) as reminders of His death. These two ordinances are: Baptism and The Lord’s Supper (Communion). The Lord’s Supper is an object lesson that represents a great spiritual truth for believers.

WHAT IS THE LORD’S SUPPER? (1 COR. 11:23-26)
1. IT IS A SIMPLE ACT
“The Lord Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, took bread…” (vs. 23)
2. IT IS A REMINDER
“…and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, ‘This is my body, which is for you; eat it in remembrance of me.’” (vs. 24)
3. IT IS A SYMBOL
“In the same way, He took the cup, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in my blood; drink it to remember me.’” (vs. 25)
4. IT IS A STATEMENT OF FAITH
“For whenever you eat the bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes back.” (vs. 26)

WHO SHOULD TAKE THE LORD’S SUPPER?
Only those who are already BELIEVERS. (Mark 14:22-26)
“For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment upon himself.” 2 Cor. 11:29
If you have people in your group who haven't come into a personal relationship with God, this is a great time to invite them to give their lives to Him.  If they aren't ready for this step, they can simply pass the elements to the person next to them and reflect/meditate/pray, while communion is being taken.

HOW DO I SPIRITUALLY PREPARE MYSELF FOR THE LORD’S SUPPER?
“Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. A person ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.” 1 Cor. 11:27-28
By…
1. Self-Examination 1 Cor. 11:27
2. Confessing My Sins 1 John 1:9
3. Re-commitment Rom. 12:1
4. Restoring Relationships Matt. 5:23-24

HOW DO I PREPARE THE LORD’S SUPPER FOR MY GROUP?
1. Prepare the elements simply, sacredly, and symbolically.
2. Be sensitive to timing in your meeting.
3. Break up pieces of cracker or soft bread on a small plate or tray. Don't use
large servings of bread or grape juice. You should use grape juice—and not
wine. We suggest you use one cup of juice for people to dip their bread in,
or if you would like, the church can supply you with disposable communion
cups and a tray, if you give two weeks notice. Shoot me and email and ask for the cups/tray
(Kevin@newlifepetaluma.org). Please note that the office is closed Friday and
Saturday.
4. Have all of the elements prepared beforehand, and just bring them into the
room or to the table when you are ready.

NOTE: Communion can be done at any one of your Life Group gatherings, and should take approx. 10 minutes. If you'd like more info on leading your group through communion, touch base with your coach. They would be happy to guide you.

20 People Signed Up, But Only 5 Showed Up

I've edited a very helpful article by Allen White 
for this weeks post. (See original article here)

Maybe those aren’t the specific numbers that you experienced in your group, but the reality is that it happens to every group at some point. Here are a couple of keys to riding the attendance roller coaster.

1. It’s not about you.  In the church, community is what we want, yet it’s what we resist the most. People got excited during promo month, so they signed up for your group. Between kids finishing school, Memorial day, and work, life just got in the way. After all, the road to you-know-where is paved with good intentions.  If someone hasn't shown up , don't take it personally, chances are, it's not about you.

2. Keep them on your list. Keep the communication flowing. Email them along with the rest of your group. Give them a call. The call should go something like this: “Hey, I was just wondering about you guys. Is everything okay? I’m not calling as the truant officer. I’m just calling because I care.” Chances are that they won’t slam down the phone after saying, “I don’t want you to care about me.” Who doesn’t want that?

3. Focus on who showed up rather than who didn’t.  My second time leading a group, the attendance regularly fluctuated from 10 people one week to 3 the next.Certain weeks there were only three of us. By the numbers, my group is a disaster. Yet, there are things you can talk about with two that you can’t discuss with eight. Maybe you do the lesson. Maybe you set the lesson aside. Before you start beating yourself or your group members up over low attendance, you need to do a quick check-in with God: “What do You intend for this group meeting? It doesn’t look like what I planned. What have You planned?” His plans are better anyway. So focus on who shows up, but make sure to contact the folks who don't.

4. Remember your Life Group and the ministry of your group are not the same. Some people may never show up for your group. Or, they’ll come once or twice, then you won’t hear from them for a while. Here’s the deal: whether they attend every week or once in a blue moon, they are yours. The group members who meet three out of four times a month are essentially your Life Group. Everyone else is in the “ministry” sphere of your Life Group. There is a reason that God has placed these folks in your life. Keep up with them. Help them when they need help. Pray for them. This is not some clandestine plot to convince them back to the group through your kindness, but it might work. This is your opportunity to love and serve, even if you never get anything in return

In a perfect world, everyone would honor their commitment and show up for every group gathering. But, this is not a perfect world. Here’s the deal: for that no-show on your list, you just might be their only connection to the body of Christ. Their well-being, of course, is not up to you. But, there is a reason that in all of the Life groups in our community, they signed up for yours. God will show you why.

Leading Great Conversations

(This is a great article by Ed Applegate. See original here)

A good conversation is both memorable and leads to life-change.   So as a group leader, it’s important to grow in your ability to lead great conversations.  Your goal is not to complete the study or ask all the questions – it’s to have a life-changing conversation.  (By the way, if you do most of the talking in group, you are doing most of the learning!).

So how do you lead a great conversation?
Here are five steps I’ve found useful in leading conversations in groups:

1. Know what you want the group to get:
As you’re preparing, think about the one thing you want the group to walk away with that night.  This will enable you to craft your questions (and conversation) towards that take-away.  As you’re doing your preparation, pray about, and then write down the one sentence that you want your group to walk away with.  I don’t tell the group what I want them to take-away – I want them to discover it (at least the gist of it), because if they discover it themselves, it will be far more memorable.
It’s important not to leave this up to a published study.  Some published studies craft their questions around a goal really well, but others do this poorly.

2. Treat Questions Like Your Tools For Crafting a Great Discussion:
In preparing your questions for discussion, think about having 6-10 of them.  These questions should be open-ended (don’t have one-word answers), and should lead the group on the journey towards the take-away you have.   Good questions don’t come easy.  Test each question by thinking about how you would answer it – is your answer moving your toward the goal?
By the way, six good questions are about all a group will normally get through in a 40 minutes discussion.   So having 6-10 ready means you have plenty, but make sure you know which ones you can drop in case you run short on time, and which questions you need to ask.

3. Remind the group of the group agreement:
You might remind everyone of the agreement at the beginning of the discussion so that the guidelines will be followed.  For example, the importance of confidentiality, the importance of everyone participating well, limiting the length of sharing so that everyone can share (i.e. don’t dominate).   These guidelines are really important for a great conversation to happen, and if you’re proactive in this reminder, it will save you from a reactive conversation later in the group.

4. Treat the Discussion Like a Ping-Pong Ball:
In other words, don’t hold on to it for too long, instead, keep it bouncing around the room.  Acknowledge people when they’ve shared and get it back out there.  For example, you might say, “Thank you, that’s interesting, has anyone else experienced something similar?”  Or “So what you are saying is…   that makes me wonder about…   what do you guys think?”

5. Use Strategies To Get Everyone Involved:
A.  Icebreakers: have an easy question at the beginning of each week that everyone answers.  This helps everyone, especially quiet ones, to hear their voice in front of everyone and gives them confidence to speak up later.
B.  Subgroups: have the group split into subgroups of two or three to discuss one or two questions, and then take feedback as a large group.  This gets a lot more talking done and will give people confidence to share in the larger group when they’ve been affirmed about their thoughts in a subgroup.

As you lead your group this week, try some strategies, take some time to craft your questions, but most importantly, have in mind a specific take-away that you want the group to walk away with at the end of your time together.